I did nothing on a plane for 3 hours

Or how I found delight on my least favorite place on earth.

Photo by Eva Darron

Being on a plane is my least favorite place to be on earth. I hate the jet-fuel smell, it makes me nauseous. I’m terrified of heights and easily motion sick. I have a long torso which makes sitting upright for long periods of time painful. The loud noise of the plane is overstimulating. The sounds of crying children. The claustrophobia of being in close quarters to people coughing and obviously ill.

It’s no wonder that being on a plane generally is synonymous with the idea of suffering. Because of this: I generally bring all of the stimulating entertainment that I can muster. The idea is that the more that I can distract myself, the more the time will “fly by”. Ideally I can be conscious on the plane for the least amount of time as possible. If I could sleep on planes I generally would in a heartbeat.

Before a trip there is actually a sense of anxiety if I don’t have the correct entertainment. A sort of fear of what it would be like if I had to “suffer” through my existence of being on a plane.

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Recently, I’ve had a lot of success using mindfulness meditation to lessen my screen time. I’ve found that a large contributor to my compulsive internet behavior is driven by anxiety about something going on in my life.

So as an experiment, I thought I would challenge myself to bring zero entertainment or distraction for myself on a three hour plane ride I needed to do for the Thanksgiving holiday.

The goal was to see what happened when I was forced to face my discomfort. I didn’t allow myself to listen to music, read a book, or use a screen of any kind.

The only thing I allowed myself to do was write down a few notes here and there about some of the thoughts that occurred to me during the flight.

My suffering was self-imposed

Generally from the moment I sit on the plane is the moment that I’m looking forward to getting off of the plane. From that point on, I’m watching the clock or telling myself: “just one movie” to get through the remainder of the flight.

This time, I focused on nothing other than what was going around me in the moment. I was acutely aware of everything going around me.

I noticed things that I never would have noticed before. I noticed the friends sitting behind me that were rocking out to shared head buds during take off. To the clenched hand on the arm rest from my neighbor. As we reached elevation, the lights of the sun coming through the windows of the plane mixed with the colors of the blue lights on the ceiling. It created only what I can describe as a “northern lights” effect where the shimmering mix of colors and light was extremely enjoyable to watch.

I felt the palpable anxiety shift in the air from everyone on the plane during take off and landing. The impatience as everyone waited to get off.

I came to the understanding that the reason that flights are so painful for me is because the mindset I have going into them is a rejection of my current existence.

Unexpected delightful moments

Snack time, which is normally a blip of presence during my time on a plane. Was immensely enjoyable. I ordered a dried fruit bar and a green tea (so zen, haha). My tea was lukewarm and I savored every bite and sip. I found it to be my favorite part of the flight.

I found myself surprised how much I was enjoying my experience. A million times more than if I was attempting to remove myself from the present reality.

I wasn’t looking forward to getting off. I found myself more comfortable. I stacked my posture and was conscious of my sitting position, my body temperature. I realized that typically I will sit incorrectly. Or won’t adjust my clothing to fix my body temperature because I’m sucked into distracting myself.

I had body pain, which is now common for me every day. But I sat with it, embraced it, and at times it melted away.

I was more present for my partner. When she had things to tell me about her book, I was genuinely interested. Where I usually am half-listening before I can get back to whatever “my thing” is.

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I didn’t really know what to expect going into this experiment. I thought maybe it would become unbearable part way through the flight. That I would need to break down and find something to do to escape my reality.

What I found instead, was an invitation to spend as much time in my present reality as possible. I found being on a horrible plane was really no different than being in any other part of my life. I have realized that I can probably find enjoyment in every experience.

And that there are simple and powerful delights in simply being alive.